Links from September 2010
Below you'll find a selection of some of the fucked up, geeky, or just plain interesting things that I have come across via the interwebs.
If you think you have something I'd like, click here to tell me about it!
Ranty McRantRant Funny.
Geeky.
Wrong.
Time-thief.
I have never managed to amass myself a teetering collection of comics, though I know a few who have. Somehow I'm still quite able to appreciate this commentary on what surely must be some of the lower-quality comic book covers.
From the John-Travolta-On-A-Fat-Day-Superman 600th issue through to the neckless Captain Victory #9 and beyond, immerse yourself in the bitchiness.
Just Cookies, No Gays Wrong. Religion.
Okay maybe just ONE MORE trashy FOX NEWS story...
An Indianapolis bakery called Just Cookies is in hot water for declining an order for rainbow cupcakes to celebrate "National Coming Out Day".
The owner's husband is quoted as saying "I explained we're a family-run business, we have two young, impressionable daughters and we thought maybe it was best not to do that,".
Wouldn't want those girls to grow up thinking that homosexuals deserve to be treated equally would you? Douchebag.
It's Trashy Fox News Time! Wrong. 
They sure breed 'em classy in Roseville! Allegedly this woman decided to shave the head and eyebrows of her son (incidentally convincing him that he was actually sick) and paraded him around, netting something like US$8,000.
Not quite enough profit in that to make it seem attractive is there?
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong. 
We all know someone just like this. 
UFO Shaped Like Ford Station Wagon In Northern Territory Funny. Wrong. 
Well, the story goes that Betty from Alice Springs, Australia was buzzed by a UFO that looked like a Ford station wagon.
I'm surprised she didn't also mention the face of jesus appearing in a puddle of wild turkey.
Hipster Hitler Funny. Wrong. 
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Ever wanted to see Adolf Hitler wearing a "Death Camp For Cutie" t-shirt and ordering PBR? Now you can.
Unbelievers Most Knowledgeable About Religion Religion. 
Okay, so it's not something that you couldn't have guessed, but Atheists & Agnostics scored higher (on average) than followers of most major faiths in a survey about religion.
For example:
"A majority of Protestants, for instance, couldn't identify Martin Luther as the driving force behind the Protestant Reformation, according to the survey, released Tuesday by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life. Four in 10 Catholics misunderstood the meaning of their church's central ritual, incorrectly saying that the bread and wine used in Holy Communion are intended to merely symbolize the body and blood of Christ, not actually become them."
Erotic Monster Manual? Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Because D&D Geeks need another reason to masturbate.
There are some creative ideas in here, along with some decent approximations of actual monster manual artwork.
Radium Buttplug? Suits You Sir! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
I was not previously aware that early last century radium suppositories were being marketed as a remedy for "sexually weak men".
I am not convinced that my life is improved much as a result of this change.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The Matrix Funny. Geeky. 
There's not an enormous amount to be said here, I just love this re-imagining of the Scott Pilgrim Vs The World trailer.
Sir Terry Pratchett Creates Own Sword From Scratch Geeky. 
Some of you might be familiar with Terry Pratchett, the author of (most famously) the Discworld series... I'm sure it will do you good to know that since being knighted he decided to make his own sword. Smelting his own metal. Out of meteorites.
That's about as rock and roll as fantasy authors get. Sir Pratchett, Wrongtown Salutes You!
While We're On Autotune... Funny. Geeky. Religion. Time-thief. 
"The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together. The cosmos is also within us, we're made of star stuff.".
Go ahead and check out the song We Are All Connected from www.symphonyofscience.com.
This Should Be A Tragedy Funny. Wrong. 
"He's climbin in your windows; he's snatchin your people up, trying to rape 'em so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cuz they're rapin' everybody out here"
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Girlfriend? How is she not his fiancé already? 
Bully Pwned - Spread It Around Funny. Geeky. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Spread this video around.
It begins with a voicemail from the Buckyballs CEO threatening to sue Zen Magnets for claiming that their magnets have a higher tolerance, are stronger, and have a brighter finish. Zen then proceed to test the magnets against each other on camera.
For added douche factor, check this slashdot article which claims Buckyballs attempted to use a DMCA takedown notice to suppress the video.
I See Floating Profanity In The Future Geeky. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Check out this foam printer, which produces impressively precise shapes which then float up and away.
As one youtuber commented: Meanwhile, beyond those trees, some guy who just finished a blunt is thinking to himself, "Whoa, dude! This is epic! The clouds are, like, talking to me."
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Smiling On A Saturday Wrong. Time-thief. 
Ummm, well... not really, no.
This video highlights the ability that Julianne Moore has to cry... and cry... and cry...
Sarah Asks Why Funny. Geeky. 
I love this transcript of a conversation between Sarah (3 years old) and her Dad (a chemistry professor) during which Sarah discovers that asking "Why?" can sometimes result in a great deal more confusion.
Where Is Your God Now? Funny. Wrong. 
This is the sort of video that can drive someone to a serious, long-term drug habit.
I can only imagine how many "I'm too high for this shit" moments this has caused already...
Spray Pancakes? Fuck Yeah Wrong. 
Right. Well I think I know how I'm going to die now that pancake in a can is expanding to include bacon-flavour.
You know what, I think I'm okay with that.
Sasuke Toy Crap At Flipping, Awesome At Balancing Funny. Geeky. 
McDonalds recently released a Naruto-themed toy that's supposed to do a flip, and like most McDonalds toys it's pretty rubbish in that regard... However someone figured out it can provide a very stable platform for random objects to be balanced on.
Check out this little collection of snapshots, I'm hard-pressed to find a favourite thing, but I'm leaning towards the front wheel of a scooter...
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Astronauts Lose Fingernails? Geeky. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
This is the first time I've heard about it, but apparently astronauts who go on "space walks" (known as EVAs) have a tendency to lose their fingernails.
It's all about the design of the glove, and the way it's highly pressurised. All that pressure makes them pretty stuff, and the latest research seems to point towards the fingernail issue being caused by the glove cutting off blood supply to the fingertips.
Nice huh?
Now That's Climbing Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
The voiceover is pretty dry here, but in a way that's good, it allows you to concentrate on checking out the structure of this 1768 foot Guided Transmission Tower as a technician climbs it without a safety rope.
It actually doesn't look too windy up there considering how open it all is. I actually found myself tensing up, every time you think he's getting close to the top there's an even more precarious ladder to navigate.
Sweethearts Of The Prison Rodeo Funny. Wrong. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Wow. There's a really terrible part of me that wants to watch Sweethearts of The Prison Rodeo... Apparently there's an Oklahoma State Penitentiary Rodeo, where volunteer prisoners compete.
Yeah, they get hurt.
Like A Circle In A Spiral Geeky. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Check out this short video of ants locked into what they call a Circular Mill. You can find an explanation of sorts here (and check out the comments on that link for a bunch of people who don't understand evolutionary theory).
I love the idea that robots programmed to interact like ants have reproduced this behaviour.
One Hypnotic Story Geeky. Time-thief. 
Layers. Layers, layers, layers. It took me twenty minutes to watch this and it was the layers that kept me there that whole time.
The simplicity of the premise. The reward of figuring out what's going to happen before it does. The admiration at the skill and planning that went into this. The sudden ending.
I reckon my mate Ben would have a ball with this.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Perspectives On Hipsters Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
I haven't got a whole lot of time, so I'm not going to say much, but rather get straight to dishing up the links:
Nathan Barley - Series One - Episode One
Of course, I'm inclined to take the view that the first sign of being a dickhead is not being able to laugh at yourself.
Sick Of Clever, Witty, Geeky Comedy? Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Allow me to introduce you to The Legend Of Neil. Basically it's the story of a hapless loser who accidentally finds himself trapped in The Legend Of Zelda after a little auto-erotic asphyxiation. Yeah, classy.
Still not sold? How about the chance to see Felicia Day playing the Fairy (who repeatedly heals Neil via sex acts) deliver lines like "My turn! My velvet sheath is open for business... put it in... no? You asshole!"
André Tchaikowsky AKA Yorick Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
It would seem that Mr Tchaikowsky included the following in his will:
13. I HEREBY REQUEST that my body or any part thereof may be used for therapeutic purposes including corneal grafting and organ transplantation or for the purposes of medical education or research in accordance with the provisions of the Human Tissue Act 1961 and in due course the institution receiving it shall have my body cremated with the exception of my skull, which shall be offered by the institution receiving my body to the Royal Shakespeare Company for use in theatrical performance.
...and as it was requested, so was it done... Click the link for a whole lot of detail, including links to youtube videos of David Tennant handling it.
Really must get around to writing a will...
Sad Pope Is Saddened By Lack Of Special Treatment Wrong. Religion. Time-thief. 
The pope has condemned police raids in Belgium linked to child abuse investigations, calling them "surprising and regrettable".
This is after a report showed that abuse has occured in almost every diocese in Belgium over the last 50 years.
Cry me a river motherfucker.
Because Procedure Should Always Take A Backseat To Common Sense Funny. Wrong. 
Aaah Fox News, always bringing us quality news articles. Apparently a school in No really, that's the name of the town... I checked.
Honestly, it smacks of desperation, like naming your
town "Best Winning Town" or something...Trophy Club, Texas suspended a kid because his eyes were bloodshot, even after his mother advised them over the phone it was because he'd been grieving the loss of his father who had been murdered two days earlier.
America, fuck yeah!
Elephants Are Wrong Too Wrong.Wrong.Wrong. Wrong.Funny. 
What is it with every animal I find online these days!?
Elephants... Now I've heard that one of the reasons they might do this is because they're lacking certain stomach bacteria...
I'm sorry but that doesn't make it okay with me.
Nature's Fleshlight Wrong. Wrong.Wrong.Wrong.Funny. 
I want to be very clear here.
A Chimp, Raping A Frog In The Mouth.
This is not a euphemism. I'm not using wordplay at all here. In this video a Chimp takes a frog, and uses it for sexual pleasure. He carries it around tucked under his arm "for later".
What. The. Fuck?
LINK TO HERE
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
What do you give the man who has everything?
Now you know. 
Give Up Robot Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. 
Looking for an interactive timewaster? Give Up Robot is just the thing. You play a tiny robot with a Yeah that's right, a GRAPPLING HOOK.
Why are you still reading this!?grappling hook, trying to navigate ugly ugly levels while chiptunes play in the background and a robotic voice that I guess the voice never mentions cake...
or weighted companion cubes...flirts with copyright tells you to give up and that you're awful...
Youtube Time Machine Geeky. Time-thief. 
So come this evening if you forgot to make plans I've got a perfect timewaster to play with while you drink alone and masturbate using your own tears as lubricant. The Youtube Time Machine allows you to pick a year and a few categories, and it'll serve up videos to suit.
Now if you'll excuse me I've gotta get back to my 70's softcore.
The Room: The Game Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Why? No seriously someone explain to me why they made this? Why do I want to play it? What's wrong with me!? Honestly...
Dragon*Con Sex Fest Geeky. Wrong. 
Apparently Dragon*Con attendees were really enjoying themselves this year in Atlanta. No really
There's so much to choose from to get your attention and have you click this link, but I think this will do nicely:
At Dragon Con for one more day and night. Would really like somebody in a costume to knock me around a little. Can role play if want. I'm the crime and you're the justice. Not interested in sex, keep your outfit on, just need a good costumed roughing up. Drop me a line.
Panda Loves To Party Funny. I found this at Boing Boing. 
There's a tumblr dedicated to nothing but pictures of pandas enjoying parties. Yes, pandas. The frigid bears. Eat lots of bamboo. Dying out. Yeah I was surprised too.
Friday Headfuck Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
I highly recommend watching this video when you're not prepared for it. This is one of those wonderful jewels of the internet that makes you say "I'm too high for this" when all you've had is cough medicine. Ten minutes of your life you'll never get back. Possibly even an hour, it's the sort of thing you might rewatch.
Not Sure What To Eat For Dinner? Funny. Geeky. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Honestly, I could sit refreshing this page for hours and still not get something I wanted to eat. On the whole though my world is better for it existing.
Dead Mouse Rain To Kill Snakes Geeky. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
No seriously. Scientists are going to drop dead mice with little cardboard-and-paper harnesses all over Guam. The purpose of the harness is to hopefully snag the mouse up a tree like an unfortunate skydiver, meaning that their target (the Brown Tree Snake) will have a good chance of snacking on it.
It gets better. All those dead mice are stuffed full of Tylenol (lethal to the snakes) and radio transmitters. So the booby-trapped rodents will not only kill the snake, but the scientists will be able to find it later on and determine whether or not it was a success.
Visual Speed Bump Promotes Safe Driving Via Terror Wrong. 
A lot of people driving bigger vehicles don't sweat speed bumps, they just hit it hard and keep on going. The maths is simple: SUV Can Take A Bump No Worries + People Are Assholes = No Reduction In Speed. So some boffins have decided to give this a shot.
Remember that email you got with all the optical illusion chalk drawings on sidewalks that look 3D when viewed from the right angle? Well now imagine someone sets it up so it looks like a young girl has suddenly appeared in front of your car, chasing a ball perhaps.
I can imagine once the swearing stops it might cause a little bit of introspection, I know I slow the hell down after a near miss.
When Their Powers Combine... Funny. Wrong. Religion. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Oh I do love me a bit of satire, and I'm the first to admit that there is no poison sweeter than that based on religion. Here we have a wonderful encapsulation what the rest of the world thinks goes on every weekend in America.
I LOVE These Guys Funny. 
NMAWorldEdition come to the rescue once again with a highly informative video getting across the gist of the battle between the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times. Bravo!
Records To Gouge Your Eyes Out To Funny. Wrong. Time-thief. 
If you're cold, bitter and dead inside like me, you'll love going through this collection of awful covers over at turntabling.net. There's some serious pain to be had there.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Clearly he doesn't mess around. 
Fangoria - The Machine - Steampunk Walkthrough Geeky. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
It's hard to believe these guys are running this Steampunk Timetravel Show from a garage... However it gets a lot easier when you have access to a behind the scenes video to go along with it... Why yes, I have been catching up on I found this at Boing Boing.boingboing.net, why do you ask?
How To Get Rid Of Your Woman Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Check out these Easyriders magazine covers from back in the day... Such a shame the articles aren't reproduced here as well, I'm sure we could all learn from How To Get Rid Of Your Woman, Trouble With Twats, Why Men Wear Beards & How To Select A Good Ol' Lady.
In case you haven't already figured it out, some of these covers may be considered Not Safe For Work.
Cruise? No Thanks Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Yeah I think I'll avoid Cruise Ships for the forseeable future after watching this video of a cruise ship in rough seas. I have to admit that the lower-class punk in me wants to laugh out loud at this video, but damn that has to be some scary stuff! Love the Rod Stewart backing track...
£20 Million For Pope Visit Funny. Wrong. Religion. 
The folks over at 20million.org make the point that many people in Britain object to public money being spent on an upcoming visit by the Pope this month. They pose the question "What would you do with £20 Million?" and are running a feed of the responses. If you want to join in, just tweet "http://20million.org - If I had #20million, I would" followed by your thoughts on the matter.
Happy Trolling!
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Cyclops Turtles - Cute VS Evil 
It has recently come to my attention that cyclocephalic turtles are cute (at least given the "Ugly, yet interesting" usage) yet turtles who have only one eye due to wounding are Evil-looking Rat Bastards who will bide their time waiting for the correct moment to kill you.
So that's good to know.
Solar Cells Mimic Leaves Geeky. 
Over at MIT they've created a tiny solar cell that can reassemble itself as it gets damaged by sunlight, much like the leaves of a tree. Apparently it's got something to do with exposing the component molecules to surfactant, then removing them from the solution to allow them to reform.
Or maybe you should just read this article rather than trusting me to get it right.
Not A Computer Mouse Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
I've only included the wrong tag in this as clicking the link will take you somewhere that might not be safe for work. However, if you're as bad at sex as I am, you'll probably be interested to hear about the Form 3 vibrator from JimmyJane.
No seriously, check it out, there's a cute video to go with it, the geeky highlight for me is when they pour water over it to show how mighty it's motor is.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Sometimes a text message just makes your evening.
I think this might be an example. 
90's Training Video Gold Funny. Wrong. 
I now know more than I ever needed or wanted to know about serving drinks at Wendy's in the 90's thanks to this training video. Once you start it's very hard to stop... I think it's those cold dead eyes...
Freerunning - Love It Or Hate It? Funny. Wrong. 
I've got two videos for you here, this one for people who think Free Running/Parkour is awesome and love to watch it, and this one if you think people who do it are idiots and you want to watch them injure themselves.
Something for everybody!
Hai Karate! 1970's "Lynx Effect" Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Yet again, there's nothing new under the sun. Apparently early on bottles of Hai Karate came with little booklets of self-defense techniques for the user to defend himself against the inevitable onslaught of female attention. There's an American advertisement here, and British versions here & here.
Horse In The Apple Store Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Seriously though, take Tiny Pony and put it in your lexicon, it's going to be a thing. Don't understand? Go read this blog post by Frank Chimero and it might become a little more clear...
By the way is it just me or does the employee helping Frank out sound like a douchebag?
Suspense Funny. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
There's just something about this this that had me tense as hell the entire time... Maybe I'm now conditioned to expect a sudden scare anytime I see a vid with not much going on?
Unfortunately it never seems to help me stop myself from jumping when it all goes to hell...
Ozymandias - Metal As Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
I love this.
The Guerilla Drive-In shows 16mm films at appropriate venues, projected from the sidecar of a 1977 BMW motorcycle. If you want to know where they're showing, you need to earn it...
First you have to find a MacGuffin (being in this case an AM radio broadcasting a loop) and then when you have found it, you must recite Ozymandias from memory and in what the Guardians of the MacGuffin deem to be a suitably Metal manner. Be sure to watch the embedded video of Hunter Davis setting the bar.
Great Advertising Funny. Wrong. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
I'm pretty much just going to let this one speak for itself. Get stuck in, Unless you're watching
at work or something and you
get caught and fired,
in which case I
take no responsibility for your actions...
What are you some kind of fucking idiot?you won't regret it.
Hack Is Wack Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Damn kids these days, spending all their time on the interweb tubes making copies of things and destroying the entertainment industry. Luckily for us there are people producing hard-hitting anti-piracy and internet security propaganda.
Wait a second, no they're not... this is all rubbish...
I think my favourite video is the one where Jackie Chan fights computer viruses while riding a Kaspersky-branded Segway. Followed closely by the non-sensical Klingons showing up in the 2009 remix of Don't Copy That Floppy.
CAPTCHArt Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
So apparently all the kids these days are going to reCAPTCHA and refreshing until they get a pair of words they think they can draw... The results vary... If you want to have a try yourself, head to the Something Awful Forums and get inspired.
I Don't Get It... Funny. Time-thief. 
I have absolutely no idea what it is that makes this such compelling viewing... okay admittedly the first minute or so is pretty average... but they do some impressive stuff after that. My question is why would they go to all that effort?
Mickey Mouse Is Watching You Fap Wrong. 
I've had this sitting waiting to be added for a while, but frankly I was too lazy. Apparently Disney (amongst others) have been utilising a service that allows them to spy on their users internet usage... How heartwarming!
The article is a little dry, but explains how the service could be used to reinstate cookies on a computer after they had been deleted, and an example of the service tracking a user watching a video on Depression. No word if Disney managed to track anyone going straight from their site to... related sites... like disneypornland.com...
Apple Unable To Remove Music From iTunes For A Year? Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
The thing I REALLY have trouble with in this article is that apparently once files have been put into the iTunes system, they can't be removed or taken down for a year...
What?
As Benn points out, either iTunes has become Skynet, the iTunes people are incompetent, or that's just an enormous load of steaming bullshit.
He's The Goddamn Batman Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Sometimes I think "I'm going to really make an effort to be sure that every single thing I link to is thought-provoking and worthwhile,"...
Then I come across something like this and all those high-minded ideals go flying out the window. What the hell were they thinking here!?
The Elements This post may be geeky. 
So Tom Lehrer's The Elements might not be as catchy as Meet The Elements by They Might Be Giants, but it's certainly more thorough, and now Mike Stanfill has created an animation to go with it.
UPDATE: Check out this vid of Tom Lehrer's song using Google Instant Search.
Aren't They Call Sith? This post may be funny. This post may be geeky. This post may be wrong. 
Last time I checked, it was the Sith who would do this sorty of thing right? Okay so maybe I'm reading too much into it, I was a bit conflicted about putting this up as the laughs are questionable, however the "crossed swords" moment at the end and subsequent discomfort following it made it worthwhile for me.
Notes From The Stall This post may be funny. This post may be wrong. This post might occupy a lot of your time. 
Most of the time it's rubbish, but occasionally the graffiti found in public toilets can be entertaining, informative and even artistic. Over at Notes From The Stall the collection is just starting, but I imagine it'll be well and truly worthy of an archive binge very soon.
hi
It's Stuck In My Head This post may be funny. This post may be geeky. This post might have something to do with religion. 
I don't see why you shouldn't suffer along with me... In all honesty though I think it's kinda cool that The Oufs dedicated a song to the Flying Spaghetti Monster... I just think it needs some work...
This'll Only Take A Minute This post may be geeky. This post may be geeky. This post may be geeky. 
There really isn't a whole lot of logic behind my decision to include this link today. It's more of a gut feeling thing. I'm just happy to live in a world where a baby dressed as a Ghostbuster can molest R2D2.
Saved By The Bell Trash Talk This post may be wrong.This post may be geeky. 
I love it. Dustin Diamond, the guy who played "Screech" in the 80's-90's show Saved By The Bell, has written a Tell All book. Check out this 11 points review for the summary... it doesn't sound like it's a particularly well-written tome, probably not worth the read even if you do want to read about and ex-child star "banging chicks" at Disneyland and bisexual threesomes involving "wholesome" TV stars.