Links From November 2010
Would You Jump In His Car? Funny.
Wrong.
There are only so many things that can be right with the world at one time.
This is not one of them.
Text Of The Day Funny. Geeky.
Wrong. Religion.
What Would Jesus Do? Funny. Wrong. Religion. 
Once again, the Axis of Awesome hit the nail on the head when they talk about asking What Would Jesus Do?
I didn't realize I had quite so many shortcomings until now.
Anime Openings - Stereotypes Come From Somewhere Funny. Geeky. 
I dig this video pointing out the similarities between the opening credits of various Anime titles.
It's actually kinda hypnotic to watch, I find myself trying not to blink so I can catch all the little details.
Text Of The Day Wrong.
Do you know why they call it a Pap Smear?
Because no-one would go if they called it a Cunt Scrape. 
Helpful Figures Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief.
I've never been able to learn so much in such a short space of time as that I've spent over at Helpful Figures. That includes the time I was kidnapped by scientists who gave me a cybernetic brain which they uploaded information directly into via a We're talking USB 1.0 people,
maybe things would be different now.
You know what's more annoying
than having an outdated computer system?
Having an outdated brain.USB port.
A Bird In A Bird In A Bird In A Bird In A Pig Funny. Wrong. 
Are you hungry? You will be.
I know, I know, I'm a horrible person, but I want to eat this so bad right now you have no idea. It's so beautifully wrong.
Peace At Last? Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Religion. 
I know this isn't usually a place where big issues are raised, but this historic moment from Israeli telivision is something I just had to share.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
A valid reason to create a bucket list if ever I heard one. 
27 Beards & Counting Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. 
I'm gonna go ahead and use Movember as a tenuous link to this site. Jon Dyer grows a beard every winter, and for a while now has been working towards the full 36 facial hair types he found on a chart.
As someone who (generally) allows no more than eyebrows to grow above my neck, I'm pretty impressed.
Stoning Adulterers - A How-To Guide Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Religion. 
Well this is a cheery little post.
The National Post in Canada has an infographic going through the basics of preparing for and carrying out a stoning. Apparently it's very important to use stones of a certain size, they are not to be big enough that they are likely to cause death straight away, but not too small either.
They alledge that it can take anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours, though if the adulterer was convicted based on a confession and they can Which puts women at a pretty
distinct disadvantage, as
they are buried up to their chests
rather than their waists.wriggle free of their pit they can go free.
Overall I have to say I'm pretty unimpressed.
Now That's A Special Christmas Funny. Wrong. Religion. 
It's that time of year again where everyone stresses out about what to get their friends and family Also: So their infant zombie-king
will smile on them instead
of eating their tasty brainsso they'll still love them in the coming year. Which is why it's nice to see that for some it's not all about possessions, that all they need is an act of kindness.
Thanks to Kilbia for this one, it's catchy as hell.
10 Most Controversial MAKE Posts Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Religion. I found this at Boing Boing. 
MAKE has a huge following of people submitting their little (and not so little) DIY projects. With such a large number of people getting creative toes are sure to be stepped on, which brings us to this list of the Top 10: Most Contraversial Posts On Makezine.com.
Backfired - Because Sometimes You Kick A Kid In The Face Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
We've all heard when life gives you lemons you should make lemonade, but what about when life dresses you up in a gingerbread man suit? Well according to this guy, the instinctual thing to do is to kick a kid right in the face.
Sure you didn't do it on purpose.
It's Sterile And I Like The Taste Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Deserved isn't always legal, and we have a clear example here.
Apparently a particular bully took the time to make a daily appointment with a kid to steal his Mountain Dew at a certain time, and sure enough his victim handed it over each time. The catch? The most recent time our intrepid young innovator decided to fill the bottle with urine instead, thereby ensuring that said bully would very likely injest it. It worked, but now Captain Pissdrinker's family is threatening to sue.
Aaaaah kids.
Awesome Penalty Shot Funny. 
I love the gloating of the goalkeeper in this clip, but only because of the wonderful warm glow of schadenfreude that steals over me when it backfires on him.
The pride comes before something something...
Murdered Apple Products Geeky. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
I'm not entirely sure that this gallery of destroyed Apple products will give my favourite Android/Linux-loving web developer a raging erection, but it can't hurt. There's actually something really classy about these badly abused bits of consumer tech.
*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*fap*
You Look Like Shit Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
I knew I'd heard this before a few times, but I didn't realise that "You look like shit" was oh so very very common in film. Does this mean I shouldn't feel so bad when people say it to me?
Gotta Give Him Props On Attitude Alone Funny. Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Alligators aren't exactly the least intimidating animal on the planet, but this cat really doesn't want to give an inch... There are some who'd say that when when the second gator turns up it's quitting time, but there's no sign of backing down here.
Watch the vid to see who wins this standoff.
Cheese AKA "Dairy Crack" Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Now this is something I was not aware of until now. Apparently cheese has small amounts of morphine (as it naturally occurs in cow's milk... also human milk), which go hand in hand with casein to provide an effect similar to that produced by opiates.
God damnit now I want Deep Fried Camembert specifically...
No wonder I was so sad when
the local italian restaurant
stopped serving that...cheese.
The Evolution of Line Rider Geeky. Time-thief. 
Anyone every played with Line Rider? Well a group of avid fans have spent far too much time creating this insane track and syncing music to it...
No honestly guys, I'm impressed but I'm also really quite afraid for your sanity given the level of dedication you're giving this little physics toy.
Stil not convinced that people are spending way too much time on this? Check out this related video. 152,000 lines. For reals.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Touchdown Jebus: The Return Wrong. Religion. 
Those of you who've been coming here a while might remember the story of Touchdown Jebus, who was smote with lightning from heaven one night and was pretty much totally destroyed.
Well, he's being replaced by another 51 feet tall instead of 62. slightly smaller depiction of the zombie saviour we all know, this time appearing to walk on water instead of appearing to sucumb to quicksand.
Fun fact: This statue is known as Big Butter Jesus, Big J, Touchdown Jesus, Super Jesus, MC 62-Foot Jesus, Drowning Jesus, Swamp Jesus & my favourite: Terminator Jesus.
I Wonder What They'll Think Of Current Advertising In 50 Years Funny. Wrong. 
Many of these have been around a long time, but it's nice to see them gathered conveniently in the same place for your viewing pleasure.
Remember, you can't beat the Axis if you get VD.
Don't Touch His Junk Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. 
Mr John Tyner recently told a TSA agent that he'd have him arrested if he touched his junk. It didn't go too well for him.
It's alleged that he faces the possibility of a civil suit as he left the security screening area (after he was instructed to do so by TSA agents) without completing the screening. I'm pretty impressed with the way he remained polite all the way through, even apologising for causing a hassle, it was obviously pretty frustrating for all involved.
Remind me never to fly in America.
Goatman! Funny. Wrong. 
I... this is just weird... it... what the...
God damn you Paul Verhoeven, why would you do that to me!?
Oh, because it's awesome. I see.
Carry on.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Scent Of A Woman Funny. Wrong. 
My oh my... This is not worksafe at all. There are lots of boobies.
Vulva is a product, aimed at the Dude who likes to masturbate.discerning gentleman who happens to want to add a little bit of olfactory enhancement to his special private time. Apparently they've spent years of testing and research so they could get the smell just right so you can dab some on the back of your hand, some lotion on the other, and... let nature take it's course.
Just look at how blissed out the guy in the picture is; you know he's sophisticated because Also because he buys preserved lady-scent and sniffs it while he fantasizes.he's wearing a suit and has designer stubble.
Is it just me or does this product present a pretty easy way to get your mate in trouble with his partner? I mean honestly, what's she going to think if he comes home smelling like he's been all up in some lady-business? You could hardly blame her for scoffing when she's told that Mat at the office splashed some stuff on him as a prank.
Gilligan's Starship Geeky. Time-thief. 
So the Artemis Spaceship Simulator doesn't actually have anything at all to do with Gilligan's Island, but man that is a poor choice of hat. Seriously.
I've never really been into Which is clearly an inspiring factor
for the Artemis, even if it's not
actually licenced and including Klingons.Star Trek, but I can definitely understand the appeal of this baby (especially if you can beef up your ship and go swanning about the known universe pounding other whips into atoms).
I kinda think it could be fun after everyone knew how to read their screens so the "Captain" could spend more time being magnificent instead of running over and read the screens for himself...
Is it just me or does it look like we've got matching tracksuits going on there?
Boys, Beware The Gay - Girls, Beware... EVERYTHING! Funny. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief. 
This is only funny in a very dark sort of way... We have two videos for your delight... First is Boys Beware, in which we are warned "One never knows when a homosexual is about; he may appear normal". Of course there are still I use the term loosely.people who consider homosexuality to be a sickness of some kind, but in general we live in more enlightened times.
Then there is the "sister film" Girls Beware, which warns of the dangers of babysitting, answering the door, taking rides with older boys and dating older boys in general. I have to say that for a concerned parent the guy at 6:11 looks pretty laid back.
I'll stop there, but it's really easy to keep clicking related videos from these two.
Baby Dies Escaping The Devil Wrong. Religion. 
You can't make this stuff up. Well at least I hope not.
It seems a baby boy was killed and several others were injured when 12 people jumped from a second-floor balcony to "get away from the Devil". Apparently a woman mistook You would think she'd have at least
a passing familiarity with him wouldn't you?her naked husband for Satan himself, screamed to alert everyone else, and panic ensued.
After being stabbed in the hand and thrown out the front door, he tried to re-enter the flat. At this point everyone involved decided it was time to flee before the dark lord devoured them, grabbed their kids and jumped off the 20-foot balcony.
This Might Be Tough To Live Down, Noah Funny. Wrong. Wrong. 
I've been Hurr hurr hurrsitting on this one for a few days not but haven't had time to post anything.
Allegedly Mr Noah Smith was having quite an interesting chemical journey when police in Carolina were called to get him out of a home after he entered and began to throw items around. Now a guy on drugs acting violent and being hauled off by the cops is hardly worth a post, however the reports that he was naked adds a little spice.
The kicker would be that when the medics examined him they found a mouse tail hanging out of his anus. It was still attached to a rather unfortunate mouse.
Oh You Dirty, Magnificent Bastards Funny. 
Generally, I have zero interest in this sort of thing, but sweet baby jebus in a monster truck that is some awesome dirty play right there.
This link courtesty of RayWJ.
This Is Your Baby On Reggae Funny. 
Time for an obligatory baby link methinks...
Check out the effect that a little Reggae has on this cranky little bugger. Yeah okay this happens with kids all the time when they're cranking for no good reason, but it's still pretty impressive to watch.
This link courtesty of RayWJ.
Chris Morris' Four Lions Funny. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief. I found this at Boing Boing. 
Over at BoingBoing they've got a great little interview with the amazing Creator of (amongst other things) Jam,
which is generally my first port of call
when someone expresses a desire to
be weirded out. I think most people
know him as the original boss from
The IT Crowd.Chris Morris about his feature film "Four Lions".
Yes, it's a wall of words. Yes, you should read them.
Let Them Blues Out Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Old-school.
I think I remember seeing this re-edit of that touching moment between Luke & Vader when it first came out.
I love it when the past comes back to haunt me. This is 1:46 of your life you won't get back.
A Rotten Peach Geeky. Wrong. 
I'm sure there are a lot of re-imagined Many of them with a pornographic bent.versions of Princess Peach out there in the big wide world of the internet. However I can't say I've seen one quite like this offerring by Luke Denby before. There's really quite a bit to take in.
Robots Think We Taste Like Delicious Bacon Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Invent robot that has the ability to taste things.
Wait until some schmuck lets the robot "taste" his hand.
Freak out when the robot announces the hand to taste like bacon.
Flee!
Movember - You're Doing It Wrong Funny. Wrong. 
Some people just have trouble reading instructions...
Like this guy who is growing a "skulmo" on the back of his head for Movember. Yes, Movember is a good cause. Yes, you should donate. Yes, there is some entertainment in donating to him so he has to dye it some awful shade. No, that is not technically a moustache.
Chiptunes and Killer Bots Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
I... there is...
I'm too tired to process this properly... All I know is some part of my sleep deprived brain really likes it when really jaggy polygon robots start murdering people who've turned out to see a parade...
I think I might need to go lay down now...
Text Of The Day Funny.
Memorable Film Moments Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. Oldschool. 
What we have here is simple enough. They've taken a few moments from memorable films and created a Gif Animation of it.
Some of them are funny, some of them are creepy, some of them are kind of haunting.
Yo Gabba Gabba Guest Spots Funny. Geeky. Time-thief. 
Over at flavorwire.com they've got a collection of musical guest appearances by various artists on Yo Gabba Gabba.
I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba, but it looks like the sort of thing one should watch while heavily intoxicated for maximum effect. I had no idea kids shows these days were filled with current music and characters who look like sex toys! Awesome!
Fun Fact!: When The Killers had their guest spot they were billed as "Brandon, Ronnie, Mark and Dave", as their normal moniker isn't exactly kid-friendly.
Awkward Faked Enthusiasm Ahoy! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
I really dig this idea.
Prank Packs are just boxes that appear to contain really shitty gifts like the Family Blankee, or the Automatic Pet Petter. Put a real gift inside and then watch your victim squirm as they try not to look really unimpressed that you picked them up some crap from a Daytime TV impulse-buy advertisement.
Of course now that I've put this up I can't use these on anyone...
The Cutter Vendetta Funny. Wrong. 
The copy on this is too good not to use:
This summer... D.E.A agent Jack Cutter... Will stop at nothing... To catch a man... Who will stop at nothing... to stop him.
Now go watch it and let the sweet sweet cliché burn out your neurons.
Whitney She Ain't Funny. Wrong. 
Sometimes you just really want to get something right, but it's not happening. We've all been there.
Life is full of disappointments, and when confronted with such disappointments there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with it.
Here we see a demonstration of the latter.
Get Your Geek On With This Window Sticker Funny. Geeky. Oldschool. 
I found this geektacular window sticker posted by Paul Verhoeven on Twitter. It almost makes me wish I still had a car.
Bundaberg Rum Blows Up Crocodile Funny. Wrong. 
Okay so not really.
They do have an advertisement depicting the explosion of a croc which is presenting a unique hazard on a golf course though. I'm inclined to agree with this post, that the follow-up "PSA" adds a certain something.
Both the original and the follow-up can be found at the link.
Onion News Network Brings Shocking Beiber News Funny. Wrong. 
Justin Beiber, that lovable scamp, turns out to be a 51 year old peadophile in a rubber mask!
It's a little sad, yet pretty funny that
some of his fans are feeling the need
to rally around him and defend him from
these obviously false
"allegations".OMG gotta go burn all my Beiber posters!
Thanks to Obi for alerting me to this.
Funky Forest Funny. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 
I love the internet.
I love that it lets me communicate with people from all over the world, I love the huge amount of ...and misinformationinformation available on it.
Sometimes I wonder though, how exactly do I benefit from seeing stuff like Funky Forest?
It's not exactly safe for work... in fact I might avoid watching it around certain family also. They might not understand why you're watching... well, I'll let you find out for yourself.
Touchscreens Gone In 10 Years? Geeky. 
According to this article, supplies of A principal component in current touchscreen technology.indium could well run out by 2020 at the current rate of consumption.
While I'm reasonably sure that we'll get more efficient at using it, or even just find something else to use before then, it really does blow my mind that we're using this stuff up at such a rapid rate.
I blame the iPad.
Poker Face All About Empathy? Geeky. Wrong. 
Do you know someone who has an excellent poker face? Or maybe someone who can't tell a convincing lie to save their life? Studies have shown an interesting link between activity in the rostral prefrontal cortex and manipulation of others.
Of course it's not a huge surprise that activity in an area of the brain thought to help with understanding what others believe might help to change that belief, but it might help understand more about people with autism and similar disorders.
If you were hoping for more of a fun poker post, check out this little book featuring none other than Penn Jillette about cheating at poker.
Hey Kids! It's Voyeur Barbie! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Mattel have released a Barbie doll with a videocamera built into her torso.
At $110 I would've thought it might be beyond the reach of the average 8 year old, however I'll be a little more mindful next time I find myself with a girl who has all of her toys propped up facing the bed. It's always creepy, but the thought that nestled between the Carebear and Cabbage Patch Kid there might be a budding amateur porn creator takes that to a whole new level.
What I Wanted To Do When I Was Eight Geeky. Time-thief. Time-thief. Time-thief. Oldschool. Oldschool. Oldschool. 
When I was a little fella the idea I'm pretty sure my Mission Statement was exactly the same as that held by Chrontendo: To play every Famicom/NES Game Released, In Chronological Order.
Unfortunately, I lacked the resources to do that, and my parents insisted that I occasionally do Like attend school, sleep & eat.other things. Though I could probably manage it now, while I still hold the NES close to my heart, my passion for playing old video games has been overridden by a desire to have sex with people who are more attractive than I am.
That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the efforts of Doctor Sparkle, who is currently up to Episode 33, containing games released as late as 1988. There is a lot of material to wade through here, we're not talking 10 minute episodes; Episode One is just shy of 48 minutes.
While I heartily recommend you check out his blog itself, over at Metafilter there's a list of links to each episode. I'm pretty sure that'll keep nostalgia junkies busy for a while.
George Takei Calls Out Douchebag Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Religion. 
Some of you might have already seen George Takei (who played the original Sulu in Star Trek) in a Public Service Announcement about Tim Hardaway's anti-gay statements. If you have, it will probably come as no surprise to see his similarly awesome PSA about the Arkansas School Board Member who recently resigned over comments he made on facebook.
If you want more info on his resignation, try starting here, but basically it was decided that it was inappropriate for the Vice President of the school district to behave as he had:
McCance used the terms "queer" and "fag" repeatedly, promised to disown his own children if they are gay and stated that he enjoys "the fact that [gay people] give each other AIDS and die."
San Francisco Bans Happy Meals Funny. 
Those of you who've been reading for a while might remember the Wanking Batman (which I was recently delighted to see appear at a McFranchise near me). Well it could be that the kiddies in SF won't be getting hold of such poorly thought out toys in the future... well at least not bundled free with their meals.
The San Francisco Board of Supervisors has passed an ordinance that requires meals to meet nutritional guidelines if they are to include toys.
Learning English Is Fun! Funny. Wrong. 
No really, it is! Especially when it comes to learning how to explain to a Or, in this case, a random passerby!doctor or other medical professional that you have to unleash the mudsharks.
Nothing awkward about that at all.
Trifecta! Geeky. Time-thief. 
Okay so this is really just unabashed awesome for the bassists out there.
In this clip we have Stanley Clarke, Marcus Miller & Victor Wooten all jamming side by side.
Fuck yes.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Well when you put it like that... 
Ben Kenobi: Private Jedeye! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Oldschool. 
Ever wonder what happened with Obi-Wan Kenobi in the time between Star Wars Episode 3 and Star Wars Episode 4? Well wonder no longer!
We now have Okay, so this is probably
not part of the original timeline...proof that he was working as a Noir Detective.
Making Assumptions Geeky. 
I love Derren Brown, he introduces me to such wonderful little mind-tricks.
Reasons this blog post is cool:
1 - Objects appear to be one thing but turn out to be quite different.
2 - Objects were created by a university student in Anyone who lives in a town
that shares it's name with a
brand of motorcycle is okay with me.Kawasaki.
By the way, if you haven't already, read Derren's book Tricks Of The Mind, it's entertaining and informative.
His Face All Red Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Here we have a dark, self contained webcomic by Em Carroll called His Face All Red about two brothers who go into the woods together to try to slay a beast...
It's pretty creepy, and as Gabe from Penny Arcade says "I think it is okay not to understand a comic. Sometimes that's more fun."
Miss Popularity Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Oldschool. 
Wow.
In the 1960's, the Transogram Toy Company published a game called Miss Popularity. In order to become popular, a girl could gain from having "Pretty Legs", attending "Modeling School" or even having a new "Sports Car" bought for you by Daddy, losing popularity for being "Careless" and neglecting her apperance.
I'm not kidding, check out the Review by Mike Mozart!
Possibly The Most Boring Interesting Thing You'll See Today Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. Oldschool. 
I'm warning you, this could be two of the most boring minutes of your life, so I'm going to give you the low-down straight away.
Back in the day, if you called the local Time Bureau you got a real woman whose job it was to say the time in 15 second intervals.
"Poppycock!" I hear you say? Well according to this video it's true. You can hear the lovely lady herself have a sneeze between her statements.
I bet your job looks a lot better when compared with this.
Falstad Wildhammer Geeky. 
I know I'm way behind on this one, but this is more for those who might not be so up to date on the churning fecundity that is World Of Warcraft...
At Blizzcon this year during a Q&A session one of the players had a question for the WOW developers. It would appear that they managed to let one of the Non Player Characters slip through the cracks, but thanks to his keen observation they'll be sorting that out.
There's been a lot of Because, y'know, it's so important.speculation as to whether this guy has aspergers, which he decided to deal with here.
Millimetres Matter Advert Tickles My Fancy Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
I don't want to sell out or anything but I kinda dig this advertisement which shows a bunch of insects getting pummelled with tiny projectiles.
Damn, as I typed that I realised that Rule #34 applies.
Funky Gears Geeky. 
Clayton Boyer makes some pretty unique gears and cams that basically have the effect of making me want to buy a whole heap of wood and hide away in my workshop for the next month tinkering.
So You Want To Get A PhD In The Humanities Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
"I'm going to be a college professor. I'm going to write smart things about death in liturature."
"Do you know how many admissions committees are going to laugh at your admission?"
"I liked Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society..."
Oh I do love xtranormal and the awful things it produces.
I Am So Confused Right Now Funny. Wrong. 
No really... Why the fuck would you think these things wouldn't scare the crap out of a kid?
I wonder just how much effort it takes to program these things to perform Electric Feel? Or 999,999 and 1,000,000.
I can only imagine the answer is "too much".
Rickrolling - Still Classy? Funny. Geeky. 
Most students I know complain about not having enough time to get their essays in on time, much less spend ours formatting it so it contains a hidden Rickroll. I've been sitting on this wondering if I should post it for a while, because ever since the Macy's Thanksgiving RickRoll (which was awesome at the time) I was pretty sure that Rickrolling had it's time in the sun...
Mind you, it's still interesting to see the different techniques some people employ when Rickrolled.