Links From September 2011

Smurf Sighting Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Old-school.

Nate Hallinan has produced this awesome little bit of lore, apparently just for the sheer pleasure of it. He asks the question "What if Smurfs were real?" and has produced a pretty good hypothetical symbiote.

Okay, yes, it's a bit creepy... but in that weird kind of way that means you might try to domesticate them, and only realise the folly of your efforts when you woke screaming to find them feasting on your flesh.

LINK TO HERE

Game Of Thrones Lineup by Chris Bishop Geeky. Cute.

This is just wonderful. You can go see it at full size and buy it over at inprnt.com. I'd even go so far as to say you should go buy it. Now. For me preferably. Because it is awesome.

HODOR!

LINK TO HERE

Food Court Proposal Crashes And Burns Funny. Cute. Wrong. Time-thief. Video.


Food Court Proposal Gone Wrong - Watch MoreFunny Videos

Ouch dude! Okay, I think I'm pretty happy to resolve not to do anything interesting or even semi-public if ever the time comes where I'm going to propose. Clearly this guy was a little more confident than he should have been...

Yes yes, it's not impossible that it's fake, but if it's not... yeah I'm not going to risk it.

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Folding Furniture For The Win Science. Geeky. Time-thief. Video.

Okay I thought "Yeah yeah fold-out beds etc" but this stuff is cool! Looks to be really well made and thought out. I can only imagine it's not cheap, but it would seem you get what you pay for here.

Thanks to Jess of Jessbooks for the link!

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Kids Learn To Raise The Dead Science. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief. Video.

I've seen Jesus Camp before, but every now and then it comes back to haunt me. I do love me some of this. This is just the best thing in the world for kids to be taught. I don't want to hit this woman in the face with a tractor at all.

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Leonard Nimoy Sings About Bilbo Baggins Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Old-school. Video.

I swear... one of these days this clip will stop haunting me. I just keep coming across it, maybe every 10 months or so... just often enough to keep it endlessly available in my subconscious...

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Funny. Geeky. Cute.

Over at stocklogos.com they've put together some cute, cheeky projections as to the evolution of the logos of certain famous brands. I'm having trouble picking a favourite, Starbucks is pretty funny, as is Firefox.

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Draw A Stickman - Bring Him To Life Cute. Time-thief.

Everyone knows how to draw a stick person right? This cute little site brings your creation to life and asks you to solve some puzzles along the way. It's either adorable (if you just follow the prompts) or horrifyingly pornographic if you decide to go off the reservation.

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Helldriver Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. Video.

So it's some sort of zombie apocolypse with necromancer warriors fighting each other for supremacy? Somewhere along the way someone drives a utility and runs over a lot of people? Crazy amounts of silly slasher gore?

Okay fine I'm sold.

LINK TO HERE

Samuel L. Ipsum Funny. Wrong. Old-school.

For the uninitiated, Lorem Ipsum is a standard "dummy text" sample that people put into a mockup when before they have content ready. It's been around since the 1500s. Slipsum.com provides a little Samuel L. Jackson flavour. Allow me to demonstrate:

I can do that

Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this case, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

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Prosthetic Love Pump Rampage Funny. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Time-thief. Video.

Often I come across stuff that I decide not to link in a futile effort to keep this place a little bit family friendly. Then there's stuff that I consider worth showing, and damn anyone who wants to be offended. It's not often that I come across something in the middle...

This must be seen, otherwise how will the children learn to build their own medium-sized prosthetic genitalia to knock stuff over with while wearing a plastic wig... but then again I don't want to embed that crazy here.

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Creepy Dolls On Etsy Wrong. I found this at Boing Boing.

Well ain't these dolls just little treasures! Just perfect for that kid you want to wet the bed until they're 12.

Fun Parenting Tip! If your kiddy is getting up during the night a lot, no need to close and lock the door on them. Leave that sucker wide open! Just prop up one of these little beauties in the threshold and your little terror will stay safely huddled in the corner all night!

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World Of Minecraft Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Video.

I'm one of the first people to complain that World Of Warcraft will eat your life if you get into it, yet I don't caution people against Minecraft... I wonder why that is... If you're a WoW-type person it's probably worth watching this one in fullscreen for all the flavour text.

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Naughty Nigella Funny. Wrong. Video.

I've never been one for cooking shows, and now I can see why... I have no idea what she's cooking here! It's all very confusing, I think perhaps she should focus on describing the cooking process rather than enlightening us to her sexual proclivities.

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Korgoth Of Barbaria Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. Video.

Such a damn shame that Korgoth of Barbaria never made it past the pilot, there's just so much joy to be had from it! Full of life lessons and heartwarmi-... wait. No. No that's not Korgoth. Korgoth is just crazy. I must have been thinking of The Book Of Mormon.

LINK TO HERE

Bacon Infused Vodka Wrong.

Pretty much everyone loves bacon, right? However Bacon-infused Vodka might be a bit much for most people. Is it wrong? I'm saying yes. Is it bad? Well, only one way to find out...

You can blame Eric for this one.

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Awesome Magic Trick Funny. Cute. Wrong. Video.

This is really excellent, I laughed my arse off. Of course, one should always be skeptical when viewing footage on the internet, which seems to be the point of stopptdieshow.de. You can see the rest of their "attempts" there.

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The Reality Show Exit To Rule Them All Funny. Wrong. Video.

I'm not sure if it's the Rocky he's misquoting, or just the beating himself and screaming, but I kinda want to see this guy get hit in the face with a shark. I'm really not sure what TV show this is from but it's got some quality right there.

UPDATE:Thanks to Blake for sending me a highlight reel of this guy.

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Zombies, Run! Geeky. Video.

While not quite as immersive as the Run For Your Lives Zombie Apocalypse Experience, I can think of a few people who this will appeal to pretty strongly. It's like a combination of Runkeeper, Zombies - Everywhere! and an audiobook that allows access to new chapters based on the distances you've run.

They've already well and truly hit their goal, but you can still donate if you'd like to get bonus material, provide own zombie groan for the soundtrack etc.

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Old Spice Tries New Guy Funny. Cute. Wrong. Video.

So according to Mashable, Old Spice are trying something new with their advertising for their Red Zone Swagger sub-brand. Your milage may vary as to whether this is a good thing or not.

Thanks Cass!

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Hate Your Neighbour? Craigslist Orgy Posting FTW Funny. Wrong.

Connecticut resident Philip Conran had a problem with his neighbour. Instead of dealing with this by starting his lawn-mower really early on a Sunday morning, he decided to enlist the power of Craigslist by posting a notice of an orgy at his neighbours house and just waiting for the freaks to turn up. Apparently it worked a charm, except for the part where he got caught; turns out that the law kinda frown on that sort of thing, who knew?

LINK TO HERE

You're Never Too Old For Ink Wrong.

So this 81 year old woman from Norfolk decided that if she was to fall seriously ill she'd prefer not to be resusitated. She reasoned that the best way to ensure that paramedics don't waste time making the attempt against her wishes was to get "Do Not Resuscitate" tattooed across her chest with "PTO -->" on her back.

I'm taking two things away from this:

1) I now have a perfect example to go with my "No, I don't think your tribal tatts are hardcore" speech.
2) Sure, get a full face tattoo of some fucking furry porn piece across your face, it's hard to argue about regretting tatts in your old age when this lady sets the bar so high.

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Drinking Water In Space Is Kinda Hot Funny. Science. Wrong. Video.

This is totally innocent, it's just how you drink water in space, I don't know why anyone would feel uncomfortable watching this at all. It doesn't bear any resemblance to a woman pleasuring some sort of robotic penis. Stop being so immature.

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T-Mobile Dance Funny. Cute. Time-thief. Video.

I can't believe I've never bothered to link this before. It's really a masterfully done flashmob, I can't stand it when a "flashmob" has the local news team with cameras ready to go before there's any sign of anything interesting going on. Kinda ruins the magic when the illusion of spontaneity is stripped away methinks. However they did a great job at keeping their cameras hidden here and the public reaction is awesome.

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Ban All Religion - The Advert Funny. Religion. Time-thief. Video.

Here in Australia we have a TV show called The Gruen Transfer which focuses on the methods, science and psychology behind advertising. They challenge advertising agencies to put together advertisements for imaginary ad campaigns. In this case I think they both do a decent job of getting the core message across.

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Hindu Jedi Jesus Funny. Wrong. Religion. Video.

He Will Fight! He Will Win! He Will Die For Your Sin! But really, this is just what I needed to see tonight. Everyone loves Hindu Jedi Jesus!

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Accidentally Rude Illusions Funny. Wrong.

I must admit that the "illusion" pictured here didn't exactly jump out at me until I looked at it for a few moments... number three is kind of amazing though. I guess when we really want to we can make just about anything look dirty...

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Teacup Kitten Cute. Video.

So it's about time for something cute, here it is for your enjoyment, a Kitten in a Teacup. Now let those memories of middle-aged men dancing evaporate into the ether, never to be thought of again...

LINK TO HERE

Ten Minutes Of Arnold Funny. Wrong. Old-school. Time-thief. Video.

Well we all know that Mr Schwarzenegger has been pretty prolific on-screen for the last 41 years, and almost everyone I know has some Arnie line that they quote... Some of them might not even know they're quoting him anymore. Well here we have a collection of some of the classics.

My favourite? Well that'd be him comparing the feeling he gets while weightlifting to that of reaching orgasm.

LINK TO HERE

Super Mario/Portal Mashup Funny. Geeky. Cute. Old-school. Video.

I'm not sure how much staying power it'd have, but there's something about this re-imagining of Super Mario Bros. that intrigues me. All of those old levels we know so well, just given that little twist by the all-conquering Portal Gun.

LINK TO HERE

Dirty Girl Ministries - Not As Cool As It Sounds Funny. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief.

Dirty Girl Ministries is an organization out to help women recover from addiction to masturbation. Because women giving themselves pleasure as much as twice a week apparently constitutes sexual addiction.

Yup.

Now what do you think is more likely, that the women feel dirty/guilty after masturbating because of the masturbation itself, or because their church insists on demonising the sex drive? Hint: If you think the church isn't responsible for making them feel shitty about their natural sexual urges, you're a fucking idiot.

I say, women of the world rise up, get down and enjoy yourselves! Especially the Christian ladies! Throw off the chains your patriarchal sun-god bullshit religion has placed on you and rejoice! There's even special tools for those of you who insist on clinging to bronze-age superstitions!

I feel confident in saying that all members of Wrongtown would be happy as clams if you were to just go to town on your bad self right now and have yourself a real nice time.

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Epic Shadowsword Dance Is Epic Geeky. Video.

This is freaking awesome; such a simple concept but executed very well indeed. Pretty sure Lewis in particular could enjoy this one, graceful crouching-tiger motherfucker that he is.

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Eye Handy Wrong. Time-thief. Video.

Suddenly I'm feeling all inspired to get me some work done around the house, and it's all thanks to EyeHandy.com! From building a cyclorama photo studio, changing tires, installing dimmer switches through to unshrinking clothes, removing permanent marker from whiteboards and unshrinking clothes, they've got you covered.

I must admit, I expected something a little different when it came to treating jellyfish stings, but I'm kinda glad it didn't work out the way I thought... there are enough sites out there for that.

LINK TO HERE

Japanese Ska Band Has Best Music Video Ever Funny. Wrong. Time-thief. Video.

Yes yes I know that just posting stuff from Japanese TV is cheating, but I couldn't let this one go past. Guys can all of our music videos be just like this one? Please?

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Old Dudes & J-Pop Funny. Wrong. Video.

I just don't understand why they're doing this, but it's fucking brilliant! There's something about putting men you wouldn't expect to dance into J-Pop dance routines that makes me happy. If you watch this without either cracking a huge grin or just staring with your mouth hanging open you're officially dead inside.

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