Links From December 2010
People Who Touch Your Junk Funny.
Geeky.
Wrong.
I love that the comments section on this post at chartporn.org has such helpful people explaining the various types of Venn Diagrams.
I also love that it's such a classy diagram.
Pope Claims "Context" Important When Taking Into Account Child Abuse Wrong. Wrong. Religion.
Religion. 
So the Pope seems to be claiming that the permissive society of the 1970's is to blame for the child sex abuses that occurred within the church at that time, calling for the "context" of the incidents to be taken into account.
He reminds us that paedophilia isn't really evil per se... "there is no such thing as evil in itself or good in itself. There is only a ‘better than' and a ‘worse than'. Nothing is good or bad in itself.”
I take this occasion to remind you of the appropriate response.
Text Of The Day Wrong. 
Dancing Alone To Pony Funny. Wrong. Old-school.
Time-thief.
One of those single-use tumblr sites that does exactly what it says on the tin.
Now if you'll excuse me I need to go find my webcam...
A Matter Of Scale Geeky. 
We've got a couple of geeky links to make you feel small and insignificant...
First a flash toy that shows the relative scale of things from quantum foam to the estimated size of the universe.
Then we have a rare look at our Solar System with the planets true-to-scale, instead of blown up and clumped in close to the sun for ease of viewing... if you were to build a monitor to display it at a standard resolution of 72 dpi the screen would be a bit over half a mile wide.
Had A Good Xmas? Geeky. Wrong. Old-school. Time-thief. 
If you did, you should watch this, that'll fix you up pretty quickly. Don't forget parts 2, 3 etc... It's magnificently bad.
I never thought I'd want to Or at least badly disfigure.murder a baby wookie before I saw this.
Those Damn Taylors Funny. Wrong. Old-school. Religion. 
I do so love Wondermark, and I really must do this next year instead of creating a huge papier mache Satan out of the cards we receive here.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Don't worry, I get nostalgic about that stuff too... 
Dungeons & Drawings Geeky. Old-school. Time-thief. 
Any D&D geeks reading this? The types who have spent hours poring over the old Monster Manuals and other assorted sourcebooks? Well you'll love this.
A couple of artists are working their way through the Monster Manuals, presenting their own interpretations of the old favourites.
Give Me A Million Dollars - That Is All Funny. Geeky. Cute.
So the vibe I'm getting from this guy is that he'd like someone to give him one million dollars. I'm pretty perceptive when it comes to these things, I can just feel it in my water.
German ElectroBabies Funny. Cute. Wrong. 
Well aren't these tots just the cutest? There's something kinda jarring about the juxtoposition here... I don't know much German but I'm pretty sure he's not singing about puppies and rainbows.
Aaaah The French Funny. Wrong. Wrong. 
Now many of you will be tempted not to even give the first 30 seconds of this video about poop an airing. However you really must hold out until at least the 50 second mark.
No I mean it, you have to. Otherwise I will be the only person to yell out and then suddenly be silenced.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Gloryhole Hentai RPG Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 
Oh you guys at Newgrounds are such jokers!
No seriously guys this is not an okay thing. I know most of you get the idea that when it has the little Wrong icons next to the title that things aren't necessarily worksafe, but just pointing out you do not want to open this link in your average white-collar cubefarm.
Thanks to Mr Fish for alerting us to the new Farmville.
Dead Man Impregnates Necrophile Funny. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 
Now that is something I wouldn't have thought would happen...
I especially love the matter of fact reporting here...
"According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being So very, very alone...alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded have sex with him."
8 Bit Angry Birds Funny. Geeky. Cute. Old-school. 
Over at Penney Design there's a cute little mock-up of Angry Birds, if it had been released back in the early 1990's. If that's not enough Ornithological fun for you, check out this little offering, something like you might see if Darwin had come across those very unique creatures.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
I... I think I want one of her blowjobs. 
LEGO Black Ops Funny. Geeky. Cute. Wrong. 
Y'know sometimes you come across something and think "Man, that guy has way too much time on his hands? Yeah. This is one of those times.
XKCD On Sickness Geeky. Religion. 
I generally refrain from linking straight to established Internet Phenomenon like xkcd but this particular strip is too good not to share.
Honey Badger Kicks Crap Out Of Africa Geeky. Cute. Wrong. 
So this cute looking little trotting badger chases a leopard, fights a cobra in a tree, ignores African Honeybees and then eats the meal right out of a puff adder's mouth. Then he eats the adder for dessert. Why? Because he can.
Humble Indie Bundle #2 Geeky. 
Once again the Humble Indie Bundle is on! Get hold of 5 games for whatever you feel is worth it. No DRM, no bullshit, just 5 awesome little indie titles (including the very popular Braid and Machinarium). It doesn't matter if you're running a Mac, a PC or a Linux box either, you get installation files for all 3 of those options.
All this for as little as US$0.01 (though honestly, what sort of a douchebag would donate so little to a good cause?).
It makes a great gift for the geeks in your life too!
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
OMG. He's right!
To the Bootycopter! 
Well, this makes PERFECT SENSE Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Religion.
Click the image for MORE offensive religious content!
Billy Bullshit Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Old-school. Time-thief. 
Now some of these stories take me back. Remember that kid at school who always had some outrageous story about how his dad used to be in the army as part of some crack squad, and he got to go see the UFOs the military kept hidden away and kept an alien as a pet but wasn't allowed to show anyone? Yeah, those stories
How A Woman Should Behave - circa 1938 Wrong. Old-school. 
Thank goodness for the internet, or we might forever lose such wonderful advice as in this old tome. Ladies, gather around for such gems as:
CARELESS WOMEN never appeal to gentlemen. Don't talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance.
or
IF YOU NEED a brassiere, wear one.
She's Not A Bad Girl, She's Just A Freak In A Suit Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Old-school.
I just don't understand.
Drive-by Icecream Headache Funny. Wrong. 
One really has to wonder what the hell went through the mind of this guy when he armed himself with a knife, stole an ice-cream van and started throwing the desserts he made at people. Is that a thing now?
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Now that sounds like a night to remember. 
Atheist Buses Being Stalked By Theist Van Funny. Religion. 
So putting advertising on buses that with the aim to let Atheists know they are not alone isn't a new thing, however I'm not sure I've ever heard of it getting this reaction before.
Amongst the usual attempts to boycott buses and ban such advertising, a few pro-active individuals decided to sponsor a van which follows around the "Good Without God" buses with a "Good With God" slogan on display.
It looks kinda cute to me.
We Were All Like OMG Like Totally Funny. Cute. 
Aaaah comedy song, if not for you, how would we properly mock young girls? For that matter if not for Parry Gripp we wouldn't have a song about a Baby Monkey Riding On A Pig either.
And that would be sad.
Every Zombie Kill In The Walking Dead In 69 Seconds Geeky. Wrong. 
Now I'm not sure myself that it's every kill, as I haven't yet watched all of the episodes, but this reel is pretty nicely put together.
I really can't wait to see just what they do with the show, having read the first 43 or so issues of the comic.
If you've seen at least the first episode you might also be interested in The Making Of Bicycle Girl.
Now THAT Had Better Fill A Niche! Funny. Wrong. Wrong. 
It's been a strange day for me... Usually my days aren't quite so sex-toy-heavy.
A couple of cheeky jewellers from Broome have designed a diamond, sapphire and pearl-encrusted dildo with an estimated worth of AU$1 million.
Necronomicox - Filling Your Niche Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. 
When I woke up and saw an email from Eric alerting me to the fine selection of vaguely terrifying phalluses available at Elastica Engineering, I knew I had to post them right away.
Just check out this fine advertising copy:
Zombi: All it wants is your warm human flesh. A bloated, rotting, pustulant abomination. Choose from a variety of festering colours.
I wonder if it's too late to order for xmas...
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Now THAT, my friends, is a clinger! 
Flashmob Gone Wrong: A Hypothetical Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Tom Scott makes an excellent point here; all of the major ingredients he speaks about have happened, just not all at the same time. Well worth the 5 minutes 40 seconds to take it in.
Best Simpsons Introduction Ever Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
It's been a long time since i sat down and watched an episode of The Simpsons, however this intro sequence makes me wish I had more time for it. Apparently UK graffiti artist Banksy had a go at customising the classic introduction, and the result is awesome in it's wrongness.
It's All In How You React To Stimuli Funny. Cute. 
Yeah I know that this clip is hardly new, but I hadn't shared it so far and I figure we're about due for some cuteness that doesn't appear to be possessed...
Got Nyarlathotep? Go Fish! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Over at Innsmouth House you can get hold of your very own pack of Cthulhu-Themed playing cards. Awesome.
Best to keep these stored away somewhere safe, y'know, just in case.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Yuuuup that's a douchebag alright. 
It's A Trap! Funny. Geeky. Cute. 
This is full of win.
It's the classic story: Arty/geeky people find out they're expecting a child, decided to create their own decorations for his room and end up with an adorable Star Wars themed alphabet.
Kill It With Fire! Break It's Legs! Funny. Cute. Wrong. 
Wow. That is one freaky infant. I know I scoffed before but now I totally understand why the Vatican still has Exorcists.
Uncomfortably Numb Funny. Wrong. Wrong. Time-thief. 
Continuing on a musical theme, I have decided to share this with you.
I hope we can still be friends.
A Different Kind Of DJ Hero Funny. Old-school. Wrong. 
It's amazing how I'll see a clip and forget all about it, then suddenly something reminds me of it and it all comes flooding horribly back.
As Halcyon0830 puts it "She takes it like a champ".
The Cup Size Choir Wrong. Religion. 
I'm not generally all about the "Holiday Season" and full of goodwill for mankind and all that, but there's Bet you can't guess what.something about this little number that makes me okay with it for nearly two minutes.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Gobble Gobble Funny. Wrong. 
Daytime TV.
San Diego Living.
WHY??
Pikachu Take Notes Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Well I think what this fine gentleman is trying to say is that he likes Pokémon.
He likes them very much.
Johnnny Three N's Funny. Wrong. Time-thief. 
I had to add this as a follow-up to A Muppet Wicker Man, Johnnny Three N's is probably the most absurd cowboy western comic book I've Okay so I can't remember ever reading
one before, but the point stands.ever read.
Puns, Paganism & Burning Felt Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Religion. Time-thief. 
I love finding stuff like this, it confuses and alarms people. Here we have A Muppet Wicker Man, and I've gotta say it's pretty well put together. Obviously it's easier to edit the images if everything is grainy in black & white, but I'm still loving this.
Apparently Celebs Do Weird Ads In Norway Too Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
I know Japan has the reputation for celebrities doing strange advertisements, but it would appear Norway just prefers to get bulk lots of celebs done with all at once.
6 minutes of bad green-screening and celebrities (some I haven't heard from in years) singing along to Let It Be. I really don't remember that song being so long before, but I just couldn't stop watching to see who they dragged out next.
Blaxploitation Style Soviet Funk From 1975 Funny. Geeky. 
There's just something about this clip that I really like. There's also a lot about it that confuses the hell out of me. For example: Why do all the dancers have cherries pinned to them? Is that to make it more funky?
Nawwww... AAAARGH! Funny. Cute. Wrong. 
Nawwww look at the little duckliOH MY GOD THE WIND! THE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE WIND!!
They do seem to be alright in the end though, all present and accounted for.
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong. Religion.
That sounds kinda awesome actually. 
Stop Motion Human Growth! Geeky. 
Every day? Well just about.
Natalie has parents who are a stickler for ritual it seems. They took her photo just about every day from her birth until she was 10, so you can view a video compiled of the snapshots showing her age 10 years in just inder a minute and a half.
RC Flight Around New York City Geeky. 
I'm sorry, I can't really say very much about this video of a guy flying an RC plane around the New York City coastline, I gotta go charge my RC Helicopter.
Haircut - A Choose Your Own Adventure Song Funny. Geeky. Wrong.![]()
Time-thief. 
Keeping to the musical theme of the last few links here for your enjoyment we have Haircut, the Probably.only youtube Choose Your Own Adventure which lets you shag Oprah Winfrey in front of a live studio audience. Or become King Of The Bears. Or Psychic.
Seriously you can play this thing for ages to see the various "achievements" available.
If You Don't Like Christmas Wrong. Time-thief. 
Well, this doesn't tickle me like the Shop Vac song did, but hey I'm tired and maybe a little manic so here it is anyway.
Shop Vac! Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Okay, so I already loved Jonathan Coulton, but I can't really emphasise how much I'm loving Shop Vac. Go ahead and watch it, these other links can wait...
Observation Is Important Funny. Geeky. Wrong. Time-thief. 
I love rediscovering stuff like Look Around You.
Did you ever have a teacher pull out an old dated educational video and stick it on for a class? If so, Look Around You will take you back, here we examine Music. Here we learn about Water.
The Blanks Funny. Wrong. 
Obsessive Scrubs fans will know that "Ted's Band" perform outside of the TV Show as The Blanks.
Here they are performing a medly including Katy Perry, Cee-Lo & Duck Sauce.
Now That's A Wedding Reception Funny. Wrong. Wrong. 
What the hell are these people doing? I haven't seen a wedding reception this sloppy since... well, actually I can't remember ever seeing one like this...
Text Of The Day Funny. Wrong.
Baby Owl Hunts Shadow Funny. 
If asked to compile a list of cute baby animals an Owl wouldn't have been my first choice, but this little guy attacking the shadows is pretty damn convincing.
Ants Vs Fluid Geeky. 
Okay so the presentation is a bit Pardon the pun.dry but the actual footage is pretty interesting.
It shows how ants respond as a group to different situations, allowing them to survive when they would perish if they were to each strike out on their own. It begins with an explanation of ways they avoid drowning, and moves on to show them dealing with other environments.
Romance In Brooklyn Funny. Wrong. 
I'm thinking that maybe over time this story has become somewhat exaggerated, but her impression is kinda impressive nonetheless.
Apple Smooth As Always Geeky. Wrong. 
As this article states, it's not exactly news when Apple act in an anti-competitive fashion, but let's laugh at them anyways.
Basically they refused to allow a small Android magazine to be published via the Appstore, simply because it is all about Android phones.
I share the opinion that, if they'd just allowed it not a whole lot of people would bother purchasing it, but they'd look good. As it is they look like an anti-competition big brother figure and the magazine gets a tonne of publicity money couldn't buy.
Pablo's Heart Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Okay I'm sure I'm just showing myself to be really old and past it, but if this video is anything to go by I don't see the Pablo's Heart taking off as an instrument of choice anytime soon.
Yeah, I'm judging, what of it?
I'm Gonna Need Another USB Hub Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
You can get USB cup-warmer/coolers, fans, fishtanks... of course they were going to produce USB Sex Toys.
I reckon if they combined it with the Avatar Fleshlight I saw in October they'd have a much wider market-share.
You're Damn Right I Want One Funny. Geeky. Wrong. 
Check out the Custom Carbonites available over at Paul Pape Designs. I know it's well and truly too late for the xmas rush but I'm pretty sure this is a gift that can be given anytime.
Also worth scrolling down for are the Button Eyes. They haunt me.
I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Little Wrong. 
This is lyk totalli fukd.
U can pay 2 hav ppl prtend u r lyk a totes famous star!!!
OMG!!!
What's worse is that I didn't bother posting this earlier as the site was down from too much Yes yes, I'm part of the problem.
Bite me.traffic.
Marriage Destroys Television Funny. Geeky. 
There's not a lot to this Gizmodo post, but there's actually probably a useful warning to go with it.
One of their readers accidentally flung his wedding ring at his TV screen when playing with Xbox Kinect for the first time. Click the link to see the damage caused.
Google Beatboxen Funny. Geeky. 
A recent Reddit thread has resulted in the sudden very public knowledge that you can use Google Translate to beatbox. Only in German though. This makes me happy!
1 - Set Google Translate to translate German to German
2 - Copy and paste this into the translate field: pv zk pv pv zk pv zk kz zk pv pv pv zk pv zk zk pzk pzk pvzkpkzvpvzk kkkkkk bsch
3 - Select the Listen button.
4 - Experiment!
I Feel So Fucking Secure Right Now! Funny. Wrong. 
RoosterTeeth (the guys who got internet famous for making Red Vs Blue using Halo) have created a new video about the TSA which made me chuckle. You should watch it, it'll make you feel more secure.